


Too Close to Home

by Sangerin



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Caitlyn McBride, F/M, Sappy, Tilly Watson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-06-01
Updated: 2000-05-31
Packaged: 2017-10-03 13:32:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sangerin/pseuds/Sangerin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Despite everything – principles, better judgment, all that stuff – I'm scared out of my wits.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Recognition

I had the strangest feeling I was being set up. The invitation had come from Tilly Watson, for Kit McBride's 'debut' at one of Tilly's old haunts in San Fransisco. Ever since we were all on Voyager, Tilly had been encouraging Kit's theatrical side; teasing it out slowly, giving her friend the sort of theatrical training a potential performer deserved. Since we'd been back home Tilly had been behind Kit all the way - encouraging what looked like a promising career in music.

And tonight Kit would be singing in a bar where Tilly herself had sung, years before.

So why did I feel I was being set up? When Tilly Watson is involved with something, I've learnt to watch my back, as it were. Add Kit McBride to the mix, and you really have to be careful.

Those two had latched onto each other from the beginning of the trip. Tilly always knew where a bit of help was needed, and when we first ended up in the Delta Quadrant, poor Kit surely needed some support. She had been a month away from her final exams before being admitted to the JAG corps, and the only reason she had been on Voyager was to monitor the bio-neural circuitry. As a cadet, she'd worked as a junior member of the development team, and she was one of the few members of that team available to come on our 'three week mission'. When it turned into a lot longer, Kit wasn't the only one to go into a sort of shock. But she was the one that Tilly found.

And once Tilly had found her, the two of them discovered that they made a formidable team. I hadn't been able to effectively separate them since. Not that I really tried. Between Tilly's engineering skills - and her command abilities, which she never openly acknowledged - and Kit's scientific, legal and medical knowledge, I had a perfect tertiary command team.

I'm not sure I ever really let them know that, though. I think I was too afraid of what they might unleash on the ship as a result. Or rather, on me.

Kit grew up significantly in the Delta Quadrant. To all intents and purposes, she was still a student when we ended up out there, and no matter how mature someone might seem, there's always a bit of youth that clings to someone who is still studying. Youth isn't a bad thing - I'm not saying it is - but it has been a joy to see Kit getting more confident, poised, and dare I say it, stylish.

When I walked into the bar she was already onstage singing. In the seven years on Voyager I'd only ever heard her singing old 17th and 18th Century Opera, and of course the 20th century Broadway productions Tilly cast her in. I'd never been able to convince her of the beauties of Mahler, though we both adored Tchaikovsky.

But the music she was singing tonight was quite different. It was smooth - almost what might be called crooning - close to 20th century jazz, but with a slightly different tone. I made my way to Tilly's table and asked quietly how much I'd missed.

'Not much,' she replied. 'Kit and I decided she wouldn't sing through the songs chronologically, though that was one idea. She started in the nineties, and soon she'll get into a couple of Gershwin songs.' I nodded as though I knew exactly what Tilly was saying. But I've always known that not much gets past her. 'Here,' she said, pushing a padd towards me. 'Take a look - see what you think.'

I scrolled through the padd, saying at the same time, 'Tilly, you know all this is out of my depth. I was happiest when she and the Doc were singing Puccini.'

'Well, no matter what, Kathryn, you have to stay to the end of the set.'

'And why would that be?' I asked, on my guard once again.

Tilly just looked at me. 'Because Kit is your friend, and she needs our support. Besides, most of the crew won't be getting here until after that. They can listen to her second set.'

'Is Harry coming?'

'I don't know,' replied Tilly, looking at me sideways. 'I wouldn't mention him to Kit, if I were you.'

I nodded, and turned to look up at Kit. If she was under any sort of stress, she wasn't showing it. She was singing her heart out, hamming it up to a couple at a table in front. I recognised the song - 'Can't help lovin' 'dat man,' one of her favourite show tunes. I looked back at Tilly.

She shrugged and smiled. 'I had to let her sing something from a Musical. The next one is one of my favourites.'

I looked back down at the padd. The next song would be the last in the set. '"Nothing,"' I read. 'Where's it from?'

'It's Australian,' replied Tilly. 'From a late 20th century variety show on television.'

'Any particular reason you like it so much?'

I got another of Tilly's sideways glances. 'It makes me think.'

'Then I'm sure I'll like it.'

Kit had gone back to the high stool next to the piano and sat down. She looked over towards Tilly and I, smiled in greeting to me, then began to sing.

> 'Suns collapse, planets die.  
> Clouds will gather to darken skies,  
> But you and I - we have nothing.'

The door to the bar opened and I saw Tom, Harry and Chakotay come in. Tilly waved them over to the table next to us. I was watching Harry's face, and Kit's reaction when she saw him, but couldn't see anything out of the ordinary. If they were having troubles, they were hiding it well. Chakotay rested his hand on my shoulder as he passed.

'It's good to see you, Kathryn.'

'You too, Chakotay.' I smiled at him and turned my attention back to Kit.

> 'Salt has pepper, black has white,  
> Intrigue has boredom, and day has night.  
> But you and I - we have nothing.'

How could Kit be singing this if she and Harry had broken up? If it had been me, I would have been in tears. I was looking at Harry, trying to gauge his response to what Kit was singing. Maybe she had broken up with him, maybe that was it. But he was as calm as she was, watching her carefully.

I found myself looking at Chakotay instead. I hadn't seen him in almost a year. He had hardly changed - a few more grey hairs, maybe, but the face, the bearing, the dimples when he smiled, they were all still the same. I realised at that moment just how much I had missed him. It was as though a hole I hadn't known existed had been filled, just by his presence at the next table. And yet...

> 'What was hidden will be revealed,  
> And what was found must be concealed  
> And you and I - we have nothing.  
> Almost innocent, guilty of nothing.'

And that was when it hit me. Guilty of nothing... not 'not guilty,' but 'guilty by omission.' Guilty of sitting side by side for seven years and not doing anything about the feelings I knew were there. Guilty of pushing the possibility of a relationship to the back of my mind, even once my mission was complete and we were home. Guilty of walking past him after the trial, simply because I didn't know how to deal with this new situation of freedom, of possibility. Of life without a safety-net.

And in the middle of that San Fransisco bar, I started to cry. The tears slipped down my cheeks noiselessly, and my shoulders began to shake. Tilly looked over at me.

'Kathryn?' she asked, concerned.

'I'll be all right, Tilly,' I said quietly, 'but I have to leave. Tell Kit she did wonderfully. I'm sorry.'

I stood up, and keeping my back to Chakotay, walked briskly from the room. When I was safely outside, I slumped against the wall and let the tears flow freely for a moment. Then I pulled myself together and hurried away. I didn't want anyone coming out to look for me.

* * *

Inside, Kit finished singing with a flourish, took Harry's hand and stepped down from the stage. With Harry's arm around her, she received the congratulations of all her former crewmates. Then Tilly came up and hugged her friend.

'Ah…Kit,' she said, a little shamefacedly, 'I'd better warn you - I kind of let Kathryn think you and Harry had broken up.'

'What?'

'Well, I had to get her sympathetic so she'd stay until you sang that last song.'

'So,' said Tom Paris, joining the group, 'Did it work?'


	2. Expectations

I woke up that day with the feeling that nothing would ever be the same again. One way or another, this day was going to change my outlook on life. That it could even change the whole course of my life. One can put too much faith in expectations.

I'd been having far too many revelatory moments recently. After that night listening to Kit sing, there was another night when I realised that before I could go forward, I had to deal with the past. Not very original, but true. Something had to be done. So I contacted him.

You might get the idea that I'm not all that good at keeping in touch with people. You'd be right. I hadn't spoken to Mark since I got back. And it wasn't for lack of perseverance on his part. But when Phoebe had told me that he was divorced, I'd run like hell.

I'm a scientist - I like complications in my life. It makes me feel like I'm achieving something, to slowly unravel the complexities until the solution stands there in front of me. It also makes me feel safe. A safety-net of difficulties; he's too far away, he's too close, he's too different, he's too similar. I can pull away from the problem, dismiss it because of, and despite, its complexity. I'm not free, he's not free. Then suddenly they both were. And I was. And I ran like hell.

Nothing would have given me more pleasure than to just keep running. But I knew I was driving myself slowly insane, and I knew I had to turn around and face these revelations head on.

I didn't want to. Believe me, I didn't want to place the call to Mark, to arrange to see him, to walk into that restaurant and look around for him, to see that smile light up his face.

Because I couldn't see his smile without thinking of another smile. And it was that other smile that I desperately wanted to see again.

'I'm so glad to see you, Kathryn.'

'It's good to see you, too, Mark.'

'It's been too long.'

'My fault. I'm sorry.'

'Don't be sorry - at least we managed to see each other at last. So, how are you? Still busy with Starfleet?'

'They do their best to keep me occupied. And you?'

'Working away. I have another Symposium coming up. We're looking at fundamental similarities in the development of base philosophies.'

'That sounds fascinating!'

I honestly meant it. And every topic I could get to run gave me more time to gather my courage. We had a lovely lunch, talked about everything under the sun. But the spark was gone from our conversation.

I shouldn't have been surprised. It had been seven years, a long-distance engagement, a marriage and a messy divorce ago. Part of me was relieved, and part of me desperately missed the relationship we used to have. And part of me was still terrified that he hadn't noticed that things had changed.

By the time we finished and talking, the restaurant was deserted. The cooks had left, the staff had re-set the tables for dinner and were all on their break. We got up from the table reluctantly. Even I will admit that I had enjoyed myself.

As we walked out onto the pavement Mark bent down and kissed me quickly on the cheek. 'It really was good to see you, Kathryn. I hope everything goes well with you.'

'Thank you, Mark,' I said, not knowing how to respond. 'I wish you every happiness.'

He shook his head slowly. 'I've had my chances. I didn't take them. Yours...' he paused, looking past me. Then he looked back at me, straight into my eyes. 'Yours are still waiting for you. Take them, Kathryn. And don't look back. Regrets will kill you.'

I couldn't help it. I hugged him, a tear in my eye. He was one of my oldest friends, after all. 'I don't think you can imagine what that means to me, Mark.'

'I have an idea,' he said, then he walked away.

I had expected to come home feeling that a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I had expected to either feel elated or absolutely depressed.

I felt a little deflated, to be honest. Because this wasn't the only step I had to take. It was only the first step. And after the first comes a second.


	3. Contentment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark's thoughts on his lunch with Kathryn.

In the end, I was the one who turned and walked away. Physically, I mean. Mentally, psychologically, she'd turned away long before me. It would have taken an absolute idiot not to notice it. We had a nice enough lunch, talked for ages, and in a way it was as though nothing had changed. But that was only on the surface.

It wasn't necessarily a change for the worse. At first I'd mourned for her and told anyone who wanted to hear that I would never stop loving her. Gradually, I accepted that she was gone. And then suddenly she wasn't - she was back in my life again, in some way at least. Writing that letter to her was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Well, that and another letter I wrote a couple of years later. To bury something - to think you are done with it all - only to have it spring to life again, despite your best efforts, is hell. I know it's hell - I've gone through it.

And I survived.

Sometimes I'm not sure how. I was so sure I'd put my love for her behind me - wrapped it up and put it on one of those 'back shelves' in your mind where you store pleasant experiences that will not come again. I told myself I'd dealt with it, and that it would not come back to haunt me.

And then, only a few months later, it came back to haunt me. But this particular ghost was alive. Kathryn was alive, and for all I knew, she considered our engagement to be as solid as ever. She sent me a letter, and with the first few words, all the emotion that I'd packed away burst out and flowed over me. There was nothing I could do - it was like falling in love with her all over again.

For weeks, months - if I'm honest, it may have been a few years - I was on an emotional high, for no reason at all. The only basis for that feeling was the fact that she was still alive, and that something that had seemed absolutely impossible the day before was suddenly, incredibly, gloriously possible.

Try to forget that at the time I was still married. I certainly tried to forget the fact. I did a good job, too. So good that…but you know all that.

I read her letter again recently - I'm a dreadful packrat, and keep things long after I should have thrown them away. Reading it now I can see the uncertainty between the lines, the tinges of coldness here and there that, if I'd cared to look, I would have seen. She was tiptoeing around the edges of our relationship, testing the edges to see it they were still there. I don't know - maybe she was looking for loopholes.

I'm a philosopher. I pride myself on my ability to intellectualise life in all its gory detail. But for a while, all my attempts to intellectualise my feelings for Kathryn failed miserably. The strange thing is, by the time we actually saw each other again, I'd managed to do a reasonable job of calming down, getting off that high I'd been on, and re-compartmentalising my life. I was almost to the point where I would have been content for things to stay as they'd been for the rest of that year - the odd written message, usually dashed off hurriedly by Kathryn as she flitted from one Starfleet de-brief or ceremony to another.

But her call sent everything into a whirl. Suddenly I was back on that high again, but at the same time I knew I didn't want to be there. And when I met her for lunch that day I had no idea what to expect.

It wasn't the sort of situation where you just know, all the way through the conversation. We talked about anything and everything; found that we agreed on topics that I wouldn't have expected her to consider. She was willing to listen to my philosophising with good grace, and I was still able to get her to explain whatever scientific tangent she went on so that I could understand her. Even the silences weren't uncomfortable. To anyone watching, we could have been a couple.

But somehow I knew it was all very different to the way it had been. And when I said goodbye, and turned and walked away, I guess I knew that it was over. Or rather, that this time, it had never really begun.

Later I realised that this was exactly the way I wanted it. I'm not being noble or self-sacrificing, I'm being honest. I'm utterly content with the way things are now. We're friends, good friends, and we'll continue to be so for a long time to come. It was almost as though a weight was lifted from my shoulders as I walked away. Or maybe it was just that a ghost had been laid to rest.


	4. Exposure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kathryn makes herself vulnerable.

'Chakotay, how about we meet for lunch one of these days?' No, too casual. 'Chakotay, would you do me the honour...' Good grief, no! I sound like I'm proposing.

Which might not be such a bad idea.

Try again. 'Chakotay, I haven't seen you in a long time. I'd love to see you and have a chance to catch up - what do you think of meeting for dinner at La Bocuse one evening next week?'

That should do. 'Computer, send message.'

Dammit - I should not be this nervous. Dinner with a friend. That's all it is. The fact that I've been in love with him for gods know how long, and that he once - once, mind you - said he loved me and told me a lovely fairy story, shouldn't make any difference at all.

But it does. And despite everything - principles, better judgment, all that stuff - I'm scared out of my wits.

I'm terrified. That's exactly it - I'm terrified. Terrified that he doesn't love me any more. Terrified that he does. Terrified that I'll throw myself into his arms in front of the whole restaurant, and become known as the 'lovelorn Captain'. Terrified that if I do, he'll look at me as though I'm crazy. Terrified that if I do, he'll kiss me.

What it is to have a mind! If only I could make mine up. Do I want him to answer or don't I? Do I want to go on living the way I have for the last eight years?

I know the answer to that - no! It's time to sort this out one way or another, once and for all.

I hate feeling like this. I'm supposed to be the strong, independent Captain, not some simpering idiot who swoons at the feet of handsome men... and even the most unbiased woman has to admit that Chakotay is handsome. And I'm not at all unbiased. But the fact remains, I'm supposed to be independent - my happiness should not depend on the good opinion of someone else.

At times I can convince myself that my happiness doesn't depend on his good opinion - that, if at the end of all this he feels the same way I do, it's all an added bonus. That's on my good days.

On my bad days? I'm a Starfleet Captain, I'm not supposed to have bad days - especially not now that I'm back in the Alpha Quadrant. Of course, in the Delta Quadrant I had bad weeks, bad months. Maybe even a bad year in there somewhere. Now that I'm back here everything is supposed to be all right. I'm a hero, right? The 'Captain-who-wouldn't-say-die', the woman who's been feted and celebrated in all corners of the Quadrant.

Which, I tell myself, is why it has taken me a year. That's not the reason, of course, but I tell myself it is. Too many things to do, not enough time to stop and smell the roses - and the possibilities. Some people might tell me this is my best chance in years. If there weren't a knot in my stomach the size of a Borg cube, I'd agree with them.

It's strange how empathy works. For years I couldn't understand how, in this day and age, anyone would let themselves be dragged into an abusive relationship, or an emotionally harmful relationship, or a relationship that was doomed to failure from the start. I've seen plenty, but I've always had little pity for the people involved. I've tended to say that they should have been able to see what I could see.

But now I think I understand. Because at the same time as I tell myself that I'm going into this with my eyes wide open, I know how powerful my emotions can be, how they can really stop one part of my brain from working at all.

For seven years I lived on the same ship as Chakotay. I saw him every single day, he was - he is - my best friend. We lived in the same little house on New Earth... oh, how I've been homesick for that little place since we left…I know him so well. And yet even so I'm worried that there's something that I've missed - that by leaving myself open to love, I'm leaving myself open to an even greater pain.

And what if he doesn't even want to see me? What will I do then?

 

'Computer, play new incoming message.'

'_Kathryn, that sounds marvellous. Can't wait to see you - 1900 this Friday? If it doesn't suit, let me know. Otherwise I'll see you at La Bocuse.'_

Well, Chakotay. 1900 Friday it is. If I can convince myself to go.


	5. Resolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _'Resolution is good, no matter which way things end up being resolved.'_
> 
> \-- (Penelope McKimm)

There never was any question as to whether I would meet him there that night. My head might have wavered, but the rest of my body - my feet in particular - had no qualms. Almost without thinking about it, I had dressed and done my hair and left my apartment. I don't really remember travelling to the restaurant, but somehow I was there, and right on time.

La Bocuse is a beautiful restaurant; understated décor and glorious food. I stood outside for a moment or two, looking out over the bay, taking deep, calming breaths. Then I turned away from the glorious view in front of me, pushed open the door and went in.

He was already there. I didn't even have to ask the staff whether he'd arrived yet. Everyone knew me, and they all knew him and his connection to me. He stood up when I reached the table, and leaned over to kiss my cheek.

'You look wonderful, Kathryn.'

'I do?' I asked stupidly. Like I said, I had no idea what I had put on - I could have been wearing my uniform for all the attention I'd paid.

He grinned as we sat down - one of those damned, dimpled grins that had set my pulse racing all through those seven years. 'You always look lovely, Kathryn. Even at two in the morning after a night of going over crew evaluations.'

I laughed with him. 'Of all the memories to bring up.... So, what are you doing at the moment?'

'To be honest, drifting,' he replied. 'I've been travelling, mostly around Earth, but I went back to Trebus to see how things were going there.' He sounded hesitant.

'How were they?' I prompted.

'Not good. The village was totally destroyed - I knew that - but the Cardassians had rebuilt it, then it was destroyed by the Klingons, and then again by the Dominion. And some of my people have moved back there to try again.' He was incredulous, and trying hard to keep his temper reigned in. 'I'm sorry, Kathryn,' he said after a moment's silence. 'I didn't mean to unload all this on you.'

I put a hand over his. 'You know that I'm here if you need to talk.'

'I know.' He studied my face for a moment, then looked down at our hands.

'Excuse me, madam, sir, are you ready to order?' I had the insane thought that our Vulcan waiter resembled Tuvok, and I drew my hand away and picked up my menu.

After we'd placed our orders I realised that my nerves were back in full. The silence as Chakotay watched me was too jarring, and I had to fill it somehow. 'Are you still in Starfleet?' I asked, groaning inwardly at the question.

'So far. I've taken an extended leave of absence. And you?'

'I've been doing a little work at the Academy, that sort of thing.'

'I always thought you be back out on a ship as soon as the trial was over.'

'Well,' I hesitated. What I wanted to say was obviously something was keeping me here but I was too nervous. I've never been any good at flirting. Tilly Watson once told me it was my greatest failing. She also said it was Kit's greatest failing... 'Have you seen Harry recently?'

'Not since last week at Kit's debut,' Chakotay replied, 'but he's teaching at the Academy. But you know that - he took the posting to stay close to Kit until she finishes her supervised year with JAG.'

'Poor Kit.'

Now he really looked puzzled. 'Why?'

'Tilly told me she and Harry broke up. Didn't you know?' There was a look of disbelief on his face.

'When did she tell you that?'

'Last week, just before you and Tom and Harry arrived.' He started to snicker - yes, snicker. 'What?'

'Kathryn, Harry and Kit have never been further from breaking up. I saw them at the end of the evening - long after you left. B'Elanna says she expects them to announce their engagement by the end of the month.'

'Then why did Tilly…damn! I knew I was being set up! Those two little... brats!'

'I'm missing something here,' said Chakotay, almost under his breath. But I heard it.

'The song Kit was singing when you came in? Do you remember it?'

'Not specifically - but it was pretty depressing.'

I nodded, still too annoyed by what Kit and Tilly had done to realise what I was saying.

'So depressing that I spent five minutes standing outside crying in the middle of the street after I left.'

'Kathryn,' he said softly, 'why were you crying?'

'Because I realised how wrong I'd been - how I'd been pushing you away - how much I…oh,' I trailed off.

'How much you what?' he said, even softer, his eyes gentle as he looked at me.

'Umm,' I said, looking away and fiddling with the stem of my wineglass.

'Kathryn,' he said, taking my hand and moving the wineglass, 'Would this make you less nervous, or more nervous?'

Before I could ask what he meant, he had leant over the table and kissed me. On the lips. With everyone in the restaurant watching. Including the Vulcan waiter who was bringing our dinner to the table.

'Well?' Chakotay asked when we had come up for air.

'After careful consideration... less nervous,' I said, and kissed him back.

* * *

Tilly Watson did not fail to notice the stir when her former Captain and First Officer entered the bar. The hour was latish, and Kit was into her final set. There were a number of ex-Voyager crew at the tables, and none of them were about to miss the sight of Janeway and Chakotay entering a room together. But most of the curious crew were destined to be disappointed. As far as any of them could see, nothing had changed in their relationship in the month since Kit's debut. The general reaction was a sigh of resignation before attention was turned back to Kit.

Tilly kept her eye on them slightly longer however. Never one to take something at face value, she couldn't help but notice that these last two weeks they had come in together, though they'd sat at adjoining tables. And the week before, they'd left within five minutes of each other. To Tilly, it had all the hallmarks of a concealed affair.

She sighed. For seven years she, Kit, and many others on Voyager had tried to get those two together, and it had never happened. It probably never would. Tilly turned back to the stage as Kit finished her last song.

Instead of thanking everyone as she had at the end of every other evening, Kit nodded once to someone at the back of the room, and then turned to speak briefly to the accompanist. Then she looked back out over the room.

'This final piece is rather different to what I've been singing this last hour,' said Kit, 'but it is a request from two dear friends of mine. They'd like me to dedicate this song to my great friend, Tilly Watson... and they hope you get the point.' Kit grinned at Tilly as she began to sing.

> 'I'd like to declare that matchmaking this pair is the life to live.  
> That nothing has changed and that time isn't passing us by.  
> But I have to say here that, for us, there's a clear-cut alternative.  
> When we look at our Captain, let's believe our own eyes.
> 
> I believe my own eyes, know we've come to the end:  
> No more need for our games. If you're doubtful, my friend,  
> Then believe your own eyes.'

Tilly swung around to search out Kathryn and Chakotay. They were at a table in a dark corner of the room, next to a table containing Tuvok, Tom, B'Elanna and Harry. Even in the dark, Tilly could see that Chakotay was holding Kathryn's hand. As Tilly turned back to watch Kit, Kit reached out a hand and pulled Tilly up on the stage.

'Come on, Til, here's the words. Just sing along,' said Kit, grinning. So Tilly did.

'This has gone far enough! After all we've been through...

>   
> We can't be blamed; we've done all we can possibly do.  
> It's a time to be tough, a time to be wise.  
> We can admit all our dreams have come true and get on with our lives.'

Tilly was barely able to contain her laughter to keep singing. During another long instrumental break she asked Kit quietly, 'Who changed the words?'

'Chakotay and I,' Kit replied. 'About a week ago.'

'And you didn't tell me?' asked Tilly, stunned.

'I couldn't,' said Kit. 'It would have wrecked that lovely expression you got on your face when I finished the first verse!'

'But what about this verse?' said Tilly, giving up the struggle to keep from laughing as she looked at the next set of words.

'Don't you worry about that,' said Kit, herself trying hard not to laugh. 'Just stop chuckling and sing!'

> 'We'd like to believe that you truly have gotten the best of us.  
> And the way to believe is to see where the real future lies.  
> We hope that you don't see a need to chastise or punish us.  
> 'Cause when we look at our Captain, we believe our own eyes.  
> We believe our own eyes…'

Kit nudged Tilly to stop singing, and finished the last line on her own, her voice floating through the room.

'We believe our own eyes.'

As Kit finished singing, there was a hush over the room. Then, a spotlight swiveled to shine on the table where Kathryn and Chakotay were sitting. Kathryn had leant her head on Chakotay's shoulder, but when she was caught in the spotlight, she sat up straight.

'Caitlyn McBride!' she said sternly. 'This wasn't part of the deal.'

Tilly looked at her chuckling friend.

'Come on, now, Kathryn,' said Kit. 'You couldn't expect me to let this go without making a bit of a point!'

Kathryn narrowed her eyes. 'You're just lucky that I don't want to move from this spot - or you'd be in trouble. Both of you!' At that, Chakotay put an arm around Kathryn and kissed her cheek, and the whole room burst into applause.

**Author's Note:**

> Tilly Watson and the major setting was borrowed from Magratj.
> 
> Songs quoted: "Nothing", written by Paul Mac, sung by Paul McDermott; and a variation on "I Believe My Own Eyes" from "Tommy" by Pete Townsend (of "The Who").


End file.
